Lonely Days

Lonely Days
by Alexander "KG" Hwang

Ytevri opened her eyes and saw a blank pale sky. She didn't move for a while, trying to think. Then she sat up and saw that she was on a meadow, with a forested area off in the distance. She lifted her hand and stared at it. Her skin was smooth and pale, and a blade of grass was stuck between her thumb and index finger.
After some thought she stood up, stumbling a little, and looked around. She then almost gasped when she saw a couple other girls a ways away. She stumbled again, paused to stretch her legs, then started walking toward them. She broke into a run and started laughing to herself.
She slowed to a walk as she reached them, then stopped to stare at them.
"Ytevri," said the shorter girl. She had been crying.
The taller one, who had been looking off into the distance, turned and smiled at Ytevri grimly.
"Rosa," Ytevri whispered, tears forming in her eyes. "Eir."
She moved forward to hug Rosa, who sniffled and squeezed her, then Eir, who patted her back.
"Is this... where is this?" Ytevri asked.
"We're not sure," Rosa said, glancing at Eir. "You... you died too?"
Ytevri nodded, then frowned. "But..."
"H-hello?"
The three girls turned. There was someone up on a hill, walking toward them uncertainly.
"It's Koroni!" Rosa exclaimed, running off toward the newcomer.
Eir watched Rosa run and walked after her, and Ytevri followed.
It was indeed Koroni, and Rosa was hugging her when they got there.
"It's okay," Rosa was saying, and Ytevri saw that Koroni was weeping.
"Koroni," Ytevri murmured.
Koroni looked up and saw her and Eir. "Y-you're h-here too," she blubbered.

"So what is this place?" Koroni asked, after she got the hugging and crying out of her system.
"Some kind of afterlife, looks like," Rosa said. Then she looked down. "Did... all of us..."
Ytevri realized what Rosa was asking, and said nothing.
"Arita!" Koroni suddenly said.
"If that's the case..." Rosa murmured. "She would be here, too."
The girls looked around. It was some kind of meadow, covered in grass and white flowers. In the distance they could see a forested area in one direction, stretching to cover that horizon. In the other direction, a large hill rose up, the one Koroni was walking down.
"Did you see anything up there?" Eir asked Koroni.
"I think I saw a big rock or something," Koroni replied. "I didn't look around much, though. When I saw you all I went toward you."
Eir started going to the hill, and the rest followed her.
"It's so quiet," Rosa murmured. "If this is the afterlife... an afterlife, shouldn't there be more people? Did... you two... follow us?"
She addressed the question to Ytevri and Koroni.
Ytevri glanced at Koroni.
"No," Koroni said. "I... I didn't for a few months after I heard what happened to you two."
"And you, Ytevri?" Rosa asked.
"I'd rather not say," she responded, looking at the ground.
"Oh no, I'm sorry!" Rosa exclaimed. "I didn't mean to... bring up a sore subject."
"It's fine, I'm just... not sure what happened," Ytevri said.
"You don't remember?" Rosa asked.
Ytevri didn't reply.
They had reached the top of the hill, and they saw the stone Koroni mentioned down on the other side. It was conspicuous enough, surrounded by grass and flowers, but it also looked unnatural, and in fact was shaped like a gravestone.
There was also someone else there, kneeling in front of it.
"Arita!" Ytevri whispered.
Rosa was already running down the hill, and Ytevri took off after her, followed more leisurely by Koroni and Eir.
They got there and saw Arita there, on her knees and crying.
The gravestone was a familiar one, one that Ytevri remembered seeing more than once, and it had the same epitaph.
"Here lies Meyu Arkeut, beloved wife and friend. Her dreams were tragically cut far too soon, but her boundless spirit lives on forever in those whose lives she touched.
Requiescat in pace."
"Arita," Rosa said softly.
Arita looked up, her tears falling freely.
"You're h-here," Arita sobbed.
Rosa knelt down to hug her, and they cried together. Ytevri looked back at the gravestone and steeled herself against crying too, feeling her lips quiver at the effort. Then she turned to look away at the empty grass as Eir and Koroni arrived.

It took longer for Arita, Rosa, and Koroni to get the crying and hugging out of their system this time. Ytevri waited until they were done before hugging Arita herself. Then Eir did the same.
"What is this?" Arita asked. "Did I... survive, somehow?"
The girls looked at each other uneasily.
"No," Eir muttered. "We all died."
"Then why is this here?" she demanded, indicating the gravestone. "Shouldn't... shouldn't she... Meyu..."
Arita looked like she was about to cry again, but she instead closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"I think... we might be here because of the manner of our death," Rosa said quietly.
Arita turned to look at Rosa in surprise. Then to Eir, who nodded.
"Not exactly the same thing," Eir said, "but I... did some things I'm not proud of. It led to a lifestyle with a very short life expectancy."
Rosa smiled weakly. "After Eir died, well. You can guess."
"I heard about what happened, from Ytevri," Koroni mumbled. "I was already depressed about... about her, so..."
Arita turned to look at Ytevri, her expression a mixture of bewildered curiosity and sadness.
"Ytevri doesn't remember," Rosa chimed in. "Maybe because-"
"No, wait," Ytevri interrupted her. Then she took a deep breath. "I do remember."
"Oh," Rosa said. "Did it come back to you?"
"I didn't kill myself," Ytevri said.
"What?" Rosa asked. "But-"
"I lied, okay?" Ytevri suddenly cried, her tears finally coming through. "She was my good friend! My best friend! I missed her every day, and it was worse without all of you! But I still had my own life to live! I wasn't going to just give up without her! And I don't think she would have wanted me to, either!"
"Or the rest of us, for that matter?" Eir asked quietly.
Ytevri turned to Eir, who regarded her passively.
"Eir, I didn't mean it like that," Ytevri said. "I just... It was hard, going to all of your funerals, and it... it made me so mad. It wasn't fair that you all left me."
Eir stepped forward and embraced Ytevri then.
"You're right, Ytevri," Eir said. "It wasn't fair of us to leave you. She was my best friend, too, but I guess you were stronger than me. Stronger than all of us."

"So does that mean we aren't here for that reason?" Koroni asked later.
They were all sitting on the grass by the gravestone now. Close behind it there was another forested area, or perhaps the meadow was encircled by forest.
"It doesn't look like it," Rosa said. "I guess we are all friends, but..."
"But she's not here," Ytevri finished for her, glancing at the gravestone.
"She's the link," Eir said thoughtfully. "We're the people she most cared about."
"But what were we gathered here for?" Koroni asked bitterly. "Is this just some kind of... sick joke, by whatever fate brought us here? To rub her death in our faces?"
"Wait," Arita whispered. She had been quiet all this time. She always was quiet in life. "I..."
Arita stood up slowly, and the others could see that her eyes were wet again. She whipped around suddenly, staring at the gravestone intently.
Then she started running.
The rest of them stood and exclaimed before running after her, following her as she went straight into the forest.
"Wait, please!" a familiar voice cried. "Stop!"
They found Arita in a clearing standing still.
As they slowed and walked to her sides, they saw who she was staring at.
"Meyu?" Ytevri asked.

It was her, standing in the middle of the clearing. She had clearly been crying, was still crying, and was holding her hands out defensively.
"Please, I'm begging you," Meyu said. "Don't come any closer."
"What's going on?" Rosa asked. "Meyu, why can't we approach you?"
A sob escaped Meyu suddenly, and she fell to her knees. The girls stepped forward, but she held her hands up again.
"I miss you so much," Meyu whimpered.
"But we're here!" Koroni insisted. "We're all together again!"
"No," Eir breathed, staring at Meyu. "We're not."
"What are you talking about?" Rosa asked her.
"Look at her," Eir said. "She knows something. For some reason we can't be near her."
"But why?" Arita asked, not to Eir but to Meyu. "What do you know?"
"Something has been bothering me since we saw the gravestone," Eir said, when Meyu didn't answer. "Why is hers the only one here? Why is it here at all?"
"She said she misses us," Ytevri murmured. "Present tense."
"This is a place personal to her," Eir said. "An afterlife only for her. She is alone."
"Then," Arita muttered bitterly, "we're not real."

Meyu screamed at the ground, sad and angry.
They were gone now. Again.
It would be hours before they came back. Before she dreamed again.
Again she wondered if this was some sort of punishment, a kind of special hell just for her. An eternity lovingly molded by a cruel god.
But she didn't believe that.
This wasn't real. It was just what happened when you died. The mind couldn't cope with nothingness, so it fabricated something else to fill the space.
She was still dying, she knew, it was just happening slowly. What should have been seconds of death was perceived by her as years, maybe even decades of a sad excuse for an afterlife.
She finished crying and sat up, looking around at the forest her brain came up with. They faded at her will, and eventually she was surrounded by the blank grayness once more.
She wished she could talk to them one more time. She would tell them to get over her death, to live their lives to the fullest. No amount of grief was worth this.
But more than that, she wished she hadn't died. She wanted to be with them again. That was why she dreamt of them.
She closed her eyes.
Any day now, she was sure, oblivion would come for her.